One Year Ago

We were blessed with amazing surgeons. We were blessed with an amazing hospital.
We were blessed with amazing friends. We were blessed with amazing family.
We were blessed with a very strong, brave little boy coming out of surgery.

Thanks again to all of you for your support with what we went through a year ago.

I had been putting off looking at the folder I jotted notes down in during our hospital stay but I knew I wanted a look at them. Of course I cried, and then had to smile at two things. A card that Lorelei and Mom made for us with finger prints and the fact that there are still four bobby pins stuck on the folder that I must have had in my hair at one point a year ago. :) I think I'll leave them there.

As for the day, the memory that sticks out always in my mind is when the nurse walked away with him and he just looked back at us with those big bright eyes. Makes me cry every time I think of that knowing we have to do it again. That's the worst memory.

The best memory is right after we saw him after his surgery (not the seeing him, but what comes next) the nurse suggested I hold him (which is a huge task with all the stuff they are hooked up to) to help him feel better. As soon as they put him in my arms his heart rate went down. I think it made me feel like I could do SOMETHING even when I was completely helpless in all he was going through. It just hits me how much you really mean to your children. (Although I'm sure when he is a teenager and mad at me it will be the opposite affect! ;) )

It was one of the hardest days of our lives and I'm certainly not looking forward to doing it again, but I just can't think about that. As for an update...the fistula is pretty big (probably half an inch), but most of the time isn't much of a bother. Just ready to have it repaired and hopefully not do much for a while.

In the mean time I am just going to enjoy these first few years when Makin doesn't realize he is different or get teased and have to be tough. He just knows who he is and that he is happy and having lots of fun. :)

We love you little man!